Wednesday, February 22

I can hardly keep up!

In the beginning of this blog I was afraid I wouldn't have enough to write about. I knew I'd have plenty of reality show summary/critique to provide, but I had NO idea how many new reality shows were coming out all the time. I feel like every week I have to dedicate a full post to new shows to look out for. Believe me, I'm not complaining, but the whole phenomenon really is unbelievable. Why work as a script writer when you can just spend your time pushing unsuspecting twenty-somethings into saying things they don't mean? Exactly. I can't make much of an argument, either.

***So you've seen "The First Wives Club," right? I absolutely love that movie. Now downgrade those celebrities and add a documentary-style film crew and you have ABC's new reality show, "Ex-Wives Club." Amazing concept. Truly, hats off to you ABC. The series will follow three infamous exes as they help other divorcees to get their lives back in control. Being a Britney fan (don't even start with me, I understand that she is white trash now, but if you saw her Onyx hotel tour you'd have a soft spot for her too) I deliver this warning to the only ex I recognize: Shar Jackson, you better mind yo business because if you talk ish about Brit I am NOT going to be happy. Good luck with the un-famous Jason Alexander. The other two leading ladies are Angie Everhart (who dated Sylvester Stallone, I guess) and Marla Maples, who used to be married to Donald Trump. It might just be me, but I don't know how together Shar's life is in the first place, so if I were a divorcee I'd have to pass. Honestly, I'd just say 'no thanks.' Maybe next time ABC should get actual celebs. Just an idea.

***Giving Shar Jackson a show is one thing. Giving a killer, er, I mean a washed up football player, a show is an entirely different issue. That's right, you guessed it. O.J. Simpson will soon have his own reality show on the Urban America Television Network. The 13-week series will debut in June and will follow Simpson's day to day life in Miami using film from...2001 and 2002? The footage, taken from after the original trial, will feature law suits filed by both families of the victims in which they were awarded $33.5 million in damages. It might sound like a lot, but it's really not when you consider the fact that Simpson is now living off a $4 million pension from his sports, TV and acting careers that was not allowed to be considered in civil court judgments. During this time, Simpson was also suspected of being involved in a drug and money-laundering ring, which hopefully will be on air. If there's any reason to watch the show it's definitely to watch Simpson's house being raided. Otherwise I'm predicting a bomb. If the glove fits, people, if the glove fits.

***"The Bachelorette" + "Kept" + "Gastineau Girls" = "Ivana Young Man"
I repeat, "Ivana Young Man." Alliteration is one thing, but c'mon now, that is the worst series title I have ever heard of. That's a merit in of itself, but the show has some serious promise. Ivana Trump, the famous ex of Donald Trump and former model/skier/novelist, will hand pick six eligible bachelors for Kathy. Kathy is a 40-year-old divorced mother of two and a millionaire, and is looking for a younger boyfriend. She might be looking, but it's Ivana that's picking. The show sounds pretty good in theory, but when I say it's a recipe of already existing shows, I mean it's heavy on the "Kept." As reported by the Reality TV Web site, Ivana plants her own young boyfriend in the group to snoop on everything. Some of the challenges include testing the average American guys at an upscale restaurant and giving the contestants money to buy Kathy the perfect gift. Umm...I'm pretty sure all three of those things happened on "Kept." The site does give us one thing to look forward to though, "Ultimately, the unlucky contenders not up to Ivana's standards are dismissed in the bedroom with her very own catchphrase that rivals the Donald's." What could it be? "I'm sorry. I don't want you to date my millionaire."

***I have little information about our next show, but I figured I'd show it in there as another example of reality TV mass production. BBC will launch "Just the Two of Us" this week, which is a little bit like "Skating with Celebrities," minus the ice and add some singing. Or, in other words, it's a musical reality show where celebrities team up with popular singers for a duet competition. The contestants are judged by a panel of other celebrities as well as viewers (I sense some "American Idol" inspiration). I don't recognize any of the names that have signed on because it's geared towards a British audience, but I hope we catch some scenes on "Best Week Ever" or something to show how much it copies Idol. I looove cheap imitations.

***I mentioned a while ago that Simon Cowell went a little crazy and decided to slap his name on every reality show that passed across his desk and the teasers for one of these small screen sensations started this week. "Unan1mous"...does the 1 really add anything to the title? the first truly original idea I've heard of in a while. It is the true story, of nine strangers picked to live in a bunker, debate together and have their lives taped to find out what happens when people stop being selfish and start being real--and really choosing who will win $1.5 million. The coolest part of the show is that it could potentially last only one episode, or it could go on for weeks. The contestants won't be able to leave the bunker until they unanimously decide who will win the prize. The tricky thing is that if a vote is not unanimous, the "money clock" begins and money is lost every hour or until the next vote is held. Contestants will be voted off from week to week, but they'll continue living in the bunker and will continue to vote. Intriguing...I'll tune in. Look for it on Fox on March 22 at 9:30.

I miiight post immediately after this one to keep you guys filled in on "American Idol," but I'm not sure yet. I'm trying to get some reality stars with myspaces to do a Q&A with me so I have to work on that too, but we'll see. I'm housesitting/dogsitting for my sister this weekend so Dudley and I will have plentttyyy of time to work on the blog.

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"You don't even know the difference between right and wrong's just sad"