Sunday, December 2

I HATE FINALS

...especially social theory ones.


....hence why I have no time to blog. :(

Friday, November 23

A Punch at Love

FINALLY! I have seen "that" episode of A Shot at Love. Sorry it took me so long, and sorry I haven't posted much this week but little mommy was in need of a Thanksgiving assistant. I've been running a billion errands and cooking up a storm. I was so busy I almost forgot I don't like Thanksgiving, in fact.

So THE episode...that fateful episode. Why, oh why, did they not play "there's about to be a, what?, a girl fight" in the background. That would have made it perfect.

I tuned in just in time to find a somber Tila scolding the group about the unnecessary drama going on in the house. What better way to solve it than to turn friend against friend and foe against foe by asking them to tell her, and the entire group, who they each think is the most and least compatible for their lady.

Brandi and Dani both had a fair showing for most compatible, with Dani edging her bleached blonde housemate out. Hooray!! I ♥ Dani, and naturally her sweet response to the situation was "It was cool to know that everyone felt that way about me." Ugh. Love.

In the shocker of the century, Vanessa was voted least compatible by pretty much everyone. She seemed to believe it was because they were intimidated by their so-called biggest competition. I think they all just realized that Vanessa wants constant attention, even if it's at Tila's expense.

The two....winners? got to go on a solo date with Tila. Sparks flew with Dani :) Vanessa, on the other hand, wouldn't shut her trap and it didn't go unnoticed by Tila. It was actually some pretty brilliant editing. They kept going back to the confessional of her saying how bored she was. Add a few carefully selected sound effects and you've got some comedy.

When it came time for elimination, pretty boy Steven got the boot and then, what we were waiting for...when Tila called Brandi to come get her key, Vanessa grabbed a HUGE chunk of yellow hair and starting laying in. I have no idea who won the fight. Brandi was on top at one point, but it was just a clusterfuck of hair and shoes and little manicured fists.

A true firefighter, Dani was first on the scene with butterface Ryan close behind, while the others looked on in horror and Tila cried in a corner. Awesome snapshot.

Vanessa goes ape shit and starts breaking glasses and everything, saying she's the only one who's there for Tila, and it was so effin funny because a producer or body guard or someone picked her up and carried her away and she looked like she was 8 with her legs flailing in the air. Only difference being her weave was half way ripped out.

Then Brandi, in all her hysteria, told Tila she couldn't do it anymore? Bobby was right when he said Vanessa won in the end anyway, because she wanted Brandi gone, and her mission was accomplished. Crazy ish, man.

It wasn't long until Brandi came crawling back. This week's ep showed her asking for forgiveness (which Amandazonian was flippin out over), but I was really surprised that Tila put her stilletto down on this one. The remaining bunch had a challenge involving transferring chocolate sauce from a kiddie pool to a bucket. Bobby won, with the others having shared dates. Compared to last week it was a pretty benign episode and Little Italy was finally deported.

I'm with Amanda on Domenico's departure. I didn't think he was all that special.

"I have these dicks on either side of me crying like babies."

Well said Barbie, well said.

Saturday, November 17

The Real World...if we were all slutty and passive aggressive

uhh I'm completely unmotivated to do anything. I totally don't feel like going out this weekend, I don't know why. This is my pre-Thanksgiving, post-last week detox. Had a little too much fun last week so relaxing in my freshly cleaned apartment is all that appeals to me.

Fortunately there's an ep of The Real World on right now that I haven't seen yet. This is the first time I've seen Ashli, the Shauvon replacement. Turns out she looks kind of like Kelly Anne and acts just like Trisha, just less trashy. I hate Trasha and I really hope she's not a recurring character on any of the challenges. They're going to have to discontinue those soon because as it is they just use like half of the most recent cast anyway.

Speaking of challenges, challenge queen Coral is doing a pop-up video-esq commentary on the episodes and she is so freakin' funny. CoralVision should be in every Real World episode.

Ashli has already formed a negative opinion about Parisa because the other chicks are chirpin in her ear about how she's a bb. New girl's all jumping on the bandwagon saying Parisa seems isolated, and Kelly Anne, who is actually pretty reasonable most of the time and doesn't talk as much shit as all the other roommates, said Parisa's been like that since the two of them had words on their vacation.

Enter Coral to make the obvious comment, "so she's been isolated since you isolated her." Coral keeps it real at all times...let us take a moment to remember, "I don't wrestle. I beat bitches up."

My other problem with Ashli is that she seems kind of bland. Plus I think she might try to seduce Dunbar...and by try I mean she is definitely doing it. She actually went up to some random girl who was trying to flirt with Dunbar and like told her off. In her confessional she said she loves to compete with other girls and when she wins she knows she's better. Coral's take: "you're not better...you're sluttier. There's a difference."

Ashli and Dunbar go back and forth sounding like their in middle school and Coral just breaks it down. "This is the most boring conversation I've ever heard in my entire fucking life." Everything she says makes me laugh. I need to meet that biotch.

I need to pose a question to the universal to all of you who have seen this episode. When Dunbar's getting all excited when they're talking about sex in the computer room, what does Ashli say she loves? They bleep it out...which can't be good. Whatta ho.

So now let's talk about the deal with Isaac...I am SO confused. Heather called me and I couldn't focus at all because Isaac was saying that he used to do acid, and because of that he has acid flashbacks where he sees birds that aren't there. When he sees a black bird it means someone died? MTV went as far as to edit a fake black bird in the background which was pretty funny. Was he being serious though? Turns out his grandfather died, but I'm still having a really hard time following what went down.

Coral was too because I think she wanted to elaborate on how weird that acid flashback thing really is but Isaac was near tears so she tripped over her words and ended up saying, "I feel bad talking about this I don't think I can make anymore jokes." A bad ass and a truly classy broad all in one. Coral...you're my hero.

Friday, November 16

TGIF!!!!

I hate when I can't post immediately after watching something because then I feel like I forget stuff. Like I can barely remember anything that happened on The Real Housewives. What a tragedy! Here's what I do remember:

Vicki is ready to have a coronary because she and Don are going to "downgrade" their house. And by downgrade they naturally mean a $3.5 million home. But it's like wayyy smaller. Probably doesn't even have servants quarters.

The cool thing about getting a smaller house is that Vicki and Don would be able to pay in cash and then wouldn't have to worry about any payments so they could focus on traveling and/or purchasing extravagant jewelry. Vick thinks it makes it look like they are no longer the Joneses. If you'll remember, last season she said that she feels like in Codo, the phrase "keeping up with the Joneses" applies to her family. In all reality, though, their kids are gone, the new house is still sick, and they're already making plans for a pool that somehow incorporates fire (I looked up at that part to try to understand but the moment had passed). Sounds pretty enviable to me.

Jeana was a pretty insignificant part of the episode unfortunately, except for us learning that Colton is kind of a punk and she's worried about him. She also mentioned that she and Matt are having a lot of problems still. I smell another McMansion divorce. KEEP YOUR FINGERS CROSSED!!

Lauri was all waterworks this week and for good reason. We hadn't seen Josh in the season premiere, which I didn't think was weird because the deviant was living with his grandparents in Colorado for a while. Turns out that this time, he broke one too many rules AGAIN, after his mom was letting him live in the Townhouse, and to get back at her he went to live with George's ex-wife. That's right, LAURI'S FIANCEE'S EX-WIFE. That's jacked up. As a sidebar I'd like to know how he met her in the first place or how that situation was ever arranged, but not only is Josh an asshole, but so is that ex. She obviously just wants to get back at George and Lauri. I'm heated about it. I love Laurie and I'm so happy she finally found George.

So yeah, Josh, your real dad isn't in the picture, and your family struggled financially for a bit (Codo definition of struggle: not being able to afford Kitson and having to live barely outside the gates in a townhouse). Now the kid thinks he has the right to shit on everything his mom gave him. If it weren't for Lauri kind of liking her kid, I'd say good riddance.

Then there's that new housewife who was drunk on jello shots this week...what's that bitch's name again?

Now, onto more important things. The moment you've been waiting for. THE SEASON FOUR PREMIERE OF PROJECT RUNWAY!!!!!!! I'll have to go ahead and agree with 54% of Bravo viewers and say Tim's my fave part and I'm so glad to have him and his adorable catch phrases back in my life. Now if only Andre was an adviser on the show...[*opens eyes impossibly wide and frolics from the room*]

Covering the show at this point in the game is difficult because not only am I not always able to associate faces with names or designs with designers, but there are so many contestants that it would be impossible for me to give you a real blow by blow. I'll try to keep it as quick as I can, like Ricky running toward the fabrics "like I was running toward the Mexican border."

The immediate stand out weirdos are definitely Elisa, the crazy ho, and Christian, the crazy hoMO. I loved the music they played when Elisa was talkin' her crazy talk about mythical creatures and magic and shit. Great editing. Christian was right when he said there was some hand-sewed crap up in there, and I have a feeling Elisa might have been who he was talking about.

Rain goddess just sewed all the fabric scraps to the back of the girls dress that dragged it down and made it look like she was pooing fabric. I hate to give the ending away, but she of course did not go home because she'll be a good source of laughs at least for a couple of challenges. Bravo knows good television, man.

Here's the rest of my wrap up:
*Kevin, who supposedly designed jeans that landed on the cover of Victoria's Secret, made a dress that looked like a bad French maid Halloween costume.
*Sweet P's was cute, but the whole Sweet P thing is kind of bizarre
*Simone's dress looked like I made it, and Michael said it looked like her model had gotten dressed in the dark!
*Jillian, a former Ralph Lauren designer, made an orange and pink puffy dress that was cute...in 1983. Someone got a little too excited to be away from the oxford shirts.
*Christian talks a big game, but he backed it up with a really polished and innovative skirt and jacket set.
*I really liked Chris's color combination and overall I thought it was one of the better dresses even though he wasn't in the top three.
*Victorya's black number was cute but I have such a hatred for rosettes I can't believe they're looked at fondly by anyone.
*Rami has designed dresses for Jessica Alba...which leads me to wonder why he's on the show...but he turned out an elegant dress. Is it just me, though, and did it kind of make the model look like the Statue of Liberty? You put a torch in her hand and you'd be singing God Bless America.
*Rick...[*yawn*]..sorry, Ricky made a baby doll dress. How original.
*I loved Jack's dress and the colors he chose. I'm going to go ahead and pin him as a front runner in this competition.
*Marion...ewsky.
*Carmen's looked like it could've been made out of duct tape...or was that Marion's? They were both fug and completely forgettable apparently.
*Pistol (what is WITH the nicknames this season??) was just okay. I'm totally over the one-sleeved thing.
*And last but not least there was Steven, to whose design and model alike I have just one thing to say...
THE REVENGE OF LAURA BENNETT?!?

Right??? Creepy.

When it came down to it Rami won this week's challenge as well as immunity for next week and Rain was spared in order to sacrifice Simone.

One of the best parts of the episode is when Tim tells the loser they have to clean up their stuff and leave, as if they didn't know, and he has the best apologetic face and voice. I feel like he'd look like that even if he came backstage and was like, "Simone, I'm going to have to ask you to go fuck yourself" [*insert awkward Tim Gunn one-armed hug/pat*] "Guess you didn't make it work. We will not miss you."

Who's excited for next week already? :)

Thursday, November 15

Don't people understand I have a blog to update?!

Okay so not only have I still not seen this week's eps of A Shot at Love OR The Real World, but I have so many things to say about the new season of Project Runway plus Tuesday's Real Housewives! Unfortch, I have an exam in weather tomorrow and I'm crazy stressed about it so y'all have to wait. This kind of demonstrates my frustration, but with weather...

hahaha I love it. In the meantime, look at these other wicked funny pics that are part of a facebook group about what to do on an exam when you know you're going to fail anyway.

LOL!

Can you read that? If you can't just click on it and it should bring you to a bigger version.

TOO FUNNY! I'd have a hard time failing a kid with answers like that...there's something to be said for fearlessness and creativity. Maybe I should try one of their methods on my test tomorrow, like refusing to answer every question for a different reason. "I regretfully am unable to answer this question about surface station weather observations because it goes against my religious beliefs..."

Tuesday, November 13

WEIRD! So I'm half taking a nap, half making flash cards and half watching One Tree Hill...which is actually one and a half, but you get what I mean...and the episode I'm watching is guest starring none other than SAM HORRIGAN. What are the odds?!

His character's name is Thing (apparently he's never cast as someone with a real name) and he hardly turns in an Emmy winning performance, but he's made the rounds in B-grade Hollywood nonetheless and I'm disappointed with the CW's choice.

Here comes the showdown

Just another manic Monday...
...night of TV.

Little People, Big World was uneventful. Are you surprised? Jacob scored the winning goal at his game. The boys finished building their swamp fort. Matt's VW bug is finished (perhaps the car he was pulled over for drunk driving in??). And Jeremy is still whipped by his girlfriend. The end.

Whatever...don't criticize. The Roloffs are freakin awesome.

On the other hand, Heroes delivered a lot more action.

This week's ep brought us back three or four months to answer all the questions we've had hanging over our heads. After Peter exploded, he was taken in by the company "for his own good," which he was okay with for a while. You know he's got that whole noble thing going for him. While he was there we got to know a little more about two of our new heroes too.

Kristin Bell's character, whose name I always forget, has a hard time controlling her powers so she's been under the company's watchful eye for almost her entire life. She and Pete smooched, though, which I don't really get. Did he do it because he actually liked her or because he was trying to manipulate her? Hm...I don't know, but I wonder what Hayden had to say on set the day her rival blonde got to kiss her boo.

Also while in his cell, Pete got to know his neighbor Adam, who we know as Tazeko Kensei (and no, I have NO idea if that's spelt correctly). After secretly flushing his meds for a while, superboy tapped DL's power and walked right through the wall into Adam's room, who apparently is 300 years old.

That is a seriously cool power.

The indestructible duo headed over to Nathan's hospital room where he was almost completely charred from flying the atomic Peter away from New York City. Turns out Adam Kensei's blood has healing powers and poof! Nathan's all better. God forbid there be a disfigured or disabled star on a hit TV show.

Nikki/Jessica added a new persona to the bunch sometime in the past four months. Gina is a LA bad girl who doesn't seem to be quite a stretch from Jessica in the first place. AND OF COURSE she got DL shot. That poor guy did nothing but get dragged down by her every chance she had. And that was after he saved a little boy from a raging house fire :(

Nikki's wearing on my nerves.

So that answered a lot, but we didn't hear from Claire, Hiro, Mohinder or the rest of the gang so I'm excited to see how the rest of this half of the season plays out. Apparently we only have four episodes left so I'm sure shits going to go down and then they'll make us wait like four months before they finish out the season. That is if this strike is resolved any time soon. If not we'll only be left with reality TV.

Which includes The Hills so I'm not too worried. Last night's half hour delivered in a big way. If you didn't catch it you absolutely MUST see one of the eight million reruns of it because LC owned Heidi in a big way. After giving her archnemesis the cold shoulder at an event, Heidi reached out in the most mature way possible (via IM, naturally).

Big surprise that Spencer read his slave/fiancee's private conversation and seemed none too happy that the girl who broke up his relationship with Brody might once again come between he and his woman. Pretty disturbing that Heidi wasn't phased or surprised, or angry even, that her privacy had been violated.

Then, in the final showdown, Lauren did not yield to her ex-friend's apologies and for once MTV didn't over edit. All I have to say is: I WANT TO FORGIVE YOU AND I WANT TO FORGET YOU.

**Small, ghetto Orion TV: $75
**Husky cable: "Free" (aka the only thing I don't have to pay for specifically in my $55,000 a year tab at Northeastern)
**Watching Heidi get rejection for the final time: Priceless

Grey's stars don't bite the hands that feed them

In other strike news, Grey's Anatomy stars Katherine Heigl, Ellen Pompeo, Sandra Oh and Patrick Dempsey spent their lunch break supporting the Writers Guild of America. That's really nice, and it makes me like the cast even more. Especially Katherine Heigl, she's totally my fave. Their picket signs leave a little to be desired though...

Photo Credit: ITN.com

SAG in Solidarity? Seriously? I mean I get it...SAG and everything,but sag literally means: "to sink or bend downward by weight or pressure" so it doesn't really make sense. Add a verb in there, people. I know you're not the writers, after all, but use your heads.

Regardless, I think it's slightly more admirable than passing out pizza like Eva Longoria. Give me a break D-eva (that's supposed to be pronounced DIVA...if you didn't get it...which you probably didn't because it didn't translate so much in type as I imagined it in my head), you know your enslaved assistant ordered those pizzas and then called the paparazzi so as to guarantee some good PR shots of you helping the little people. Probably wasn't even your idea.

Who am I kidding? I'll watch.

I like to pretend to be offended by stuff that probably should offend me, if only for the sake of being politically correct, but if this new British reality show doesn't make it to this side of the pond I'm going to be pissed. The UK's The People writes that the new show is going under the working title Temptation, the show recruits "Britain's worst love rats" and "randy cheats" to see if they can tame their wild ways. Yes, I realize this is Temptation Island...but now it has accents. Brilliant.

My thoughts exactly

Okay so I haven't really been following Beauty and the Geek this season but from the one or two episodes I have seen, there was one question looming over me and apparently I'm not alone.

For the first time, the social experiment reality show made one of the geeks a girl and one of their beauties a guy. What I realized immediately was that the male beaut, Sam, was strikingly familiar to me. I originally pinned him as one of the bash brothers from Mighty Ducks, but then likened him to the child star from another classic sports move; Little Giants.

DON'T say anything about Little Giants. That movie is awesome, okay.

I swore Sam played the super-kid football player famous for his line, "Spike don't play with girls." Now ten or so years older and wearing a lot more hair gel, Sam, a so-called party promoter was definitely Spike's spitting image. At the time the CW Web site listed only Sam's first name, but an imdb.com search confirmed for me that Sam was also the name of the actor who played Spike.

That being a coincidence seemed like a long shot, even then, but now the "bonafide gossip queens" at gaysocialites.com have reported that Sam Horrigan is, in fact, an actor. The blog writes that it's a possibility that Horrigan's lack of success in Hollywood and his day job of party promoting was enough for the show producers to accept him as a castmate.

I for one have a hard time believing that. Of all the dumb, handsome guys out there, they couldn't find one that is an unknown? Horrigan isn't that cute anyway...he looks like he's on steroids. My theory is that Horrigan is actually a plant and will reveal his true identity in some overly dramatic, staged confession to the cast. The only problem with that is that I haven't been watching in the first place, so if someone wants to catch me up that'd be great. Otherwise I'll have to figure out when it's on again and do a little more investigating.

The truly troublesome question here is why haven't any of the other beauties or geeks seen Little Giants? Great movie.

Monday, November 12

Just because

Meet Wookiee, a soft coated wheaten terrier, and his big brother Dudley, a labradoodle

They're my sister Kelley's dogs and this picture is on the MetroPet Web site, which is basically doggie day care. They're the most spoiled dogs ever but I love my special boys :)

I'll have to get a picture of Heather's puppy Jackson up here soon too.

"You don't even know the difference between right and wrong anymore...it's just sad"