Friday, November 16


I hate when I can't post immediately after watching something because then I feel like I forget stuff. Like I can barely remember anything that happened on The Real Housewives. What a tragedy! Here's what I do remember:

Vicki is ready to have a coronary because she and Don are going to "downgrade" their house. And by downgrade they naturally mean a $3.5 million home. But it's like wayyy smaller. Probably doesn't even have servants quarters.

The cool thing about getting a smaller house is that Vicki and Don would be able to pay in cash and then wouldn't have to worry about any payments so they could focus on traveling and/or purchasing extravagant jewelry. Vick thinks it makes it look like they are no longer the Joneses. If you'll remember, last season she said that she feels like in Codo, the phrase "keeping up with the Joneses" applies to her family. In all reality, though, their kids are gone, the new house is still sick, and they're already making plans for a pool that somehow incorporates fire (I looked up at that part to try to understand but the moment had passed). Sounds pretty enviable to me.

Jeana was a pretty insignificant part of the episode unfortunately, except for us learning that Colton is kind of a punk and she's worried about him. She also mentioned that she and Matt are having a lot of problems still. I smell another McMansion divorce. KEEP YOUR FINGERS CROSSED!!

Lauri was all waterworks this week and for good reason. We hadn't seen Josh in the season premiere, which I didn't think was weird because the deviant was living with his grandparents in Colorado for a while. Turns out that this time, he broke one too many rules AGAIN, after his mom was letting him live in the Townhouse, and to get back at her he went to live with George's ex-wife. That's right, LAURI'S FIANCEE'S EX-WIFE. That's jacked up. As a sidebar I'd like to know how he met her in the first place or how that situation was ever arranged, but not only is Josh an asshole, but so is that ex. She obviously just wants to get back at George and Lauri. I'm heated about it. I love Laurie and I'm so happy she finally found George.

So yeah, Josh, your real dad isn't in the picture, and your family struggled financially for a bit (Codo definition of struggle: not being able to afford Kitson and having to live barely outside the gates in a townhouse). Now the kid thinks he has the right to shit on everything his mom gave him. If it weren't for Lauri kind of liking her kid, I'd say good riddance.

Then there's that new housewife who was drunk on jello shots this week...what's that bitch's name again?

Now, onto more important things. The moment you've been waiting for. THE SEASON FOUR PREMIERE OF PROJECT RUNWAY!!!!!!! I'll have to go ahead and agree with 54% of Bravo viewers and say Tim's my fave part and I'm so glad to have him and his adorable catch phrases back in my life. Now if only Andre was an adviser on the show...[*opens eyes impossibly wide and frolics from the room*]

Covering the show at this point in the game is difficult because not only am I not always able to associate faces with names or designs with designers, but there are so many contestants that it would be impossible for me to give you a real blow by blow. I'll try to keep it as quick as I can, like Ricky running toward the fabrics "like I was running toward the Mexican border."

The immediate stand out weirdos are definitely Elisa, the crazy ho, and Christian, the crazy hoMO. I loved the music they played when Elisa was talkin' her crazy talk about mythical creatures and magic and shit. Great editing. Christian was right when he said there was some hand-sewed crap up in there, and I have a feeling Elisa might have been who he was talking about.

Rain goddess just sewed all the fabric scraps to the back of the girls dress that dragged it down and made it look like she was pooing fabric. I hate to give the ending away, but she of course did not go home because she'll be a good source of laughs at least for a couple of challenges. Bravo knows good television, man.

Here's the rest of my wrap up:
*Kevin, who supposedly designed jeans that landed on the cover of Victoria's Secret, made a dress that looked like a bad French maid Halloween costume.
*Sweet P's was cute, but the whole Sweet P thing is kind of bizarre
*Simone's dress looked like I made it, and Michael said it looked like her model had gotten dressed in the dark!
*Jillian, a former Ralph Lauren designer, made an orange and pink puffy dress that was 1983. Someone got a little too excited to be away from the oxford shirts.
*Christian talks a big game, but he backed it up with a really polished and innovative skirt and jacket set.
*I really liked Chris's color combination and overall I thought it was one of the better dresses even though he wasn't in the top three.
*Victorya's black number was cute but I have such a hatred for rosettes I can't believe they're looked at fondly by anyone.
*Rami has designed dresses for Jessica Alba...which leads me to wonder why he's on the show...but he turned out an elegant dress. Is it just me, though, and did it kind of make the model look like the Statue of Liberty? You put a torch in her hand and you'd be singing God Bless America.
*Rick...[*yawn*]..sorry, Ricky made a baby doll dress. How original.
*I loved Jack's dress and the colors he chose. I'm going to go ahead and pin him as a front runner in this competition.
*Carmen's looked like it could've been made out of duct tape...or was that Marion's? They were both fug and completely forgettable apparently.
*Pistol (what is WITH the nicknames this season??) was just okay. I'm totally over the one-sleeved thing.
*And last but not least there was Steven, to whose design and model alike I have just one thing to say...

Right??? Creepy.

When it came down to it Rami won this week's challenge as well as immunity for next week and Rain was spared in order to sacrifice Simone.

One of the best parts of the episode is when Tim tells the loser they have to clean up their stuff and leave, as if they didn't know, and he has the best apologetic face and voice. I feel like he'd look like that even if he came backstage and was like, "Simone, I'm going to have to ask you to go fuck yourself" [*insert awkward Tim Gunn one-armed hug/pat*] "Guess you didn't make it work. We will not miss you."

Who's excited for next week already? :)

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