NOT MAMA'S BOY!!!!!

Okay so I'll fill you guys in on the premiere of The Real Housewives later this week, but I felt like I needed to say my peace in regards to A Shot at Love. Before we begin, please take a moment of silence in honor of my fellow Warwickite, Michael B, who got sent home to mama.

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Tear. On the one hand I'm upset, but on the other, I'm glad for Michael because he and his freshly waxed balls will definitely get some in the Warzone...even if it is on his mom's couch.

Okay, so some good things and some bad. SO happy that Dani got her key again, and she was so cute when she wanted to kiss Tila. One of the reasons I like Dani is because after the kiss she said "that was awesome," and then got wicked embarrassed that that was her reaction. That is totally something I would do. Just...not with a girl. The only thing that really pissed me off was that they played friggin Indigo Girls in the background while Dani kissed Tila. Like, seriously, MTV? Yeah, she's a lesbian and no she's not a lipstick lesbian, but talk about stereotyping. Because naturally ALL LESBIANS love Indigo Girls. Pshh. Lame.

Vanessa and Bobby both got keys even though there was a ton of drama with them this week. I hate Vanessa. She's so trashy looking, ick! When I see her greasily gelled curls and her awkwardly straightened, plastered to her face tendrils I feel like I'm walking past the scummy group of 8th graders who hang out outside the local Wal-Mart. Brandi is barely a step up on the class-o-meter, but these shows polarize me and make me choose favorites even amongst all losers so I'm on Team Brandi. My team will hopefully come out on top next week...

(changes subject to leave non-viewers in suspense)

Packing bags next to Michael this week was Ashli. GASP! I was really surprised because Ashli was definitely the prettiest and least scummy, but Tila's right, she's too innocent for someone who has made their fortune getting naked. That's like setting up Emma Watson with Kid Rock.

At the end of the day, the freak is going to want another freak. Next week might eliminate one of the freakiest though, regardless of whether it's Vanessa or Brandi. Previews show the two girls walking toward Tila and her keys at the same time then suddenly Vanessa goes for a hard core hair pull. Big surprise there. (And again, are we serious with the hair pulling? Could you make girls look any worse?) Who will win the battle? We'll find out next week, but one thing I do know is that Dani's on the scene before any of the guys. Looks like Ms. Firefighter is the new Rodeo. If we hear her say "Get off of her," or "I manhandled that bitch" I'm totally going to rate A Shot at Love above Rock of Love. Lesbian hair isn't as scary as Heather's.